Dear mothers of precious little boys:
I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but when your angel baby turns 13 or so, things are going to get..funky. There is a SMELL. Oh Lord, the SMELL. It’s a combination of sweaty locker room, old burritos and pure testosterone. And it will begin to emanate from your sweet child’s room.
The good news is that ensuring your child does his laundry, washes his sheets and doesn’t hide plates of old food under his bed can seriously cut down on the funk. Also, start storing his shoes on a back porch or in the garage. Trust me.
But, I’m sorry to inform you, sweet mama, there is a very good chance that they will not be as diligent as one would wish. Let things slide for even a week and the SMELL will set in.
I’ve tried various tactics with varying levels of success:
1. Invite friends with teen daughters over. It will only take one watery-eyed female peer quickly excusing herself to cement those hygiene habits.
2. Start a teen chore chart! Realize that you now have a cool dust collector as your teen is no longer motivated by stickers or check marks
3. Frequently inspect their room under the guise of a casual visit. Nag them with mock horror. Works...never.
4. Go Extreme Makeover Teen Addition on them. Freak out and take away everything they love. Works for roughly 48 hours. Too exhausting to maintain righteous indignation required.
5. Realize that maturity will kick in and they will eventually start managing their space with a bit more care. The training from their younger years will prove to be a happier way to exist even within their own autonomy.
6. Buy some Febreeze, scented candles or an oil diffuser. God speed. .
🖼: The Annunciation (detail) by Piero della Francesco 1464
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